20 sketchbooks in... too many eyes

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20 sketchbooks in... 

that's too many eyes to count 

I tend to always get incredibly picky and negative when it comes to looking at my work. I criticize it, pick on every detail, and mentally crib about how I am not good enough compared to artists online, usually forgetting that they’re college graduates in their mid-20s or older and have had years of experience with the skill. 

So the other day, I was looking for Architecture Digest magazines, buried

somewhere with school files, certificates, a bundle of old drawings and some 20 sketchbooks (most of them left incomplete)

I started looking through them and came across one in particular that changed my perspective about the way I judge what I create. This sketchbook has always been special to me, it was the one I started when I had decided that I wanted to make art and design my future when I was in 5th-grade. 


a recent eye I drew - 2021




I opened the first page and saw the first eye I ever drew. I do vividly remember when I made them, we were travelling for a family function to Jaipur, and while all the old people spent their time in the hall, I was in the room watching a video titled ‘how- to- draw- eyes’ I pulled out my sketchbook and followed the tutorial.


one of the first eyes I ever drew- 2017


I stepped back when it was complete, my soul smiled as my eyes glared at it and my mouth, well it didn’t know what to say. I was so proud, that the next day I carried my drawing around making sure not to cover it with my arm, trying to get everyone to compliment it! Incredibly cringy and embarrassing!



Still, this drawing was the seed that sprouted
my obsession. I drew eyes everywhere.

My 6th-grade teacher called me out for
drawing way too many on my logbook planner and mathematics notebook to the point it haunted her. I found the story to be quite silly but it made me believe that what I was drawing was incredibly detailed and realistic, I guess it was her way of encouraging me. To date, I have a weird infatuation and addiction to sketching this incredibly delicate organ of sight. Seeing how much I improved not just with the idea of drawing eyes but with my ability to come up with interesting and abstract concepts instead of spending 30 hours on making something off of Google that a camera can recreate in 3 seconds. 



It gave me quite a break from finding fault with every brushstroke I paint and made me a ton more positive about every piece I made so far. It was a good day.




- Nandini Jain 2022 @_nandinikjain_







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